tims tortuous slideshow aka a brennan lost in the world

some pics from marrakesh, me looking stupid with the water sellers, a shop of nothing but olives,
the square, me and flick looking as touristy as possible, a spice stall and the view over the djemma el fna.

list of the kind of people who write lists

1. Some peoples lives swirl about them in an infernal whirlwind of chaos and disorder. they hope that by randomly snatching snippets of information marauding past them and recording them in an ordered manner that suddenly the insanity of the storm will cease. all that will be left is clear, shining path into a new better organized future. as a card carrying member of this tribe i can attest to such a list being an exercise in futility but hell dont let me stop ya.
2. Other people are monuments of strictness and order, every element of their life is skillfully moulded into a shape that perfectly fits into a niche without disturburing the neat symmetrical ambience of the whole. to such people lists are as natural as drawing breath, infact the thought of embarking into the world unplanned and unprepared sends them into fits of panic and perspiration. the list is worth its weight in gold, losing it doesnt bear thinking about, but then again, theres always the back-up list.
3. The third group of people believe that life appears as a tragic tale of inevitable mortality. a-ha; but appearances can be deceptive and like so many great minds throughout the ages they understand that the absolute finality if death can be cheated through the achievements and construcions of pure genius. by creating products of unassailable beauty and wonder the timeless power of awe inscribes the creators names on the tablets of the immortals. henceforth their name, and thus existence, will be evermore revered and remembered. of course creating such immortal objects is harder than it looks and as everyone knows the first step to greatness is too be able to recognise greatness in others. therefore to make lists of 'the greatest album ever', 'the greatest book ever' etc. becomes a type of intellectual apprenticeship to prepare yourself for the inevitable rise to immortality. sadly teenage dreams wither all too fast and eventually the list writer realises that immortality has a habit of staying just out of reach. luckily these lists hold a dual power which lends their usage not just to the ambitious youth but also the jaded adult. once the dreams of genius have subsided the realisation awakens that be able to compare, criticize and rate the works of genius is in itself a product of greatness. naturally anyone can write a list of their favourite songs but no self respecting type 3 list writer would be caught dead filling their favourite songs list with well known pop hits. a perfect balance must be maintained between respecting the established cannon and embellishing it with a few perfect breaks selected from a cellarfull of vinyl. the list writer must be able too wax lyrical on the claims to perfection and influence of their discovered rare diamonds. this act proves not only the list writers individulaity and depth of character but also that their apprenticeship spent deep in seclusion imbibing and sorting the works of genius caused a few small slivers to rub off onto themselves. (for a more accurate portrayal see the book or movie high-fidelity. tragically i am finding it difficult to resist the temptation to include a greatest ever album list on this blog so i guess i must belong to this sad species as well).
4. the fourth group can be thought of as an embroyonic version of the third. unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) many of the fourth group remain permanently undeveloped never reaching the lofty pretnsions of the third. this group doesnt seek to rate their favourite artists, writers etc. but is content to simply list them all in one jumbled mess. another feature of this group is that the subjects they choose need not have had a deep or life changing impact upon the list writer. indeed anything that the list writer has found mildly entertaining on a bored, lonely weeknight will likely make the cut. the probable reason for this is that, to the list writer, the subjects of the list posess an inherent and much envied sense of coolness. a similar pyschological motive to the type three list writer is at work, by listing the posessors of cool the list writer hopes to bask in the reflected glory of their stardom and thus display their own taste and sophistication. as, apparently, you cant have too much of a good thing, the type four writer rejects the type three writers emphasis on quality instead opting for quantity and thus an abdundance of reflected coolness. for copious examples of the type three list writer spend a few minutes perusing my space.
5. The fifth type of list writers is someone with disgusting amounts of free time on their hands who happens to chance upon the new form of media known as blogging. this writer sees in the blog the opportunity to finally dump upon he world the inane ramblings that fill their brain. the computer screen acts as the most perfectly tolerant listener imaginable. it never talks back, interrupts or contradicts the writer even when confronted with such complete meaningless babble that would surely turn even the most patient human listener into a homicidal monster. the writer is thus deluded into thinking they have an audience for their mind numbing rants. sadly for the list writer the reality is that there are now over 20 million blogs and even if most people were not the overworked busy stressheads they undoubtedly are they would likely eat their own eyeballs before willingly submitting their brains to be corrupted with such bollocks. thus for the list writer almost any activity, for example watching atrocious television in a language they dont understand would prove a more valuable way to spend their time. on that note i shall return to my hotel room.

tims tortuous slideshow aka a brennan lost in the world

Sunday, 13 May 2007

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list of the kind of people who write lists